Reguli si...formalitati

Ne-am dezumanizat si Ne-am sistematizat la extrem. In loc sa avansam spre esenta Noi fragmentam si dezgolim de fond...pastram ce Ne intereseaza si ce Ne convine. Despicam firul in 16 si pastram unul, cel mai potrivit ca si structura, lungime, elasticitate, tensiune, si anulam restul.
De ce sa schematizezi? De ce sa traduci in forme insuficiente chestiuni precum dreptatea sau NEdreptatea (strambatatea)? Pentru a produce ceva care niciodata nu va fi suficient de cuprinzator si suficient de bine pus la punct astfel incat sa prevada prea multe dintre situatiile posibile...intotdeauna va exista o falie...si de aceasta vor profita multi. De ce ne incurcam in amanunte si mereu, mereu vrem o aplicare stricta...cand nimic nu e valabil si prea putin este adevarat? Cand totul este relativ si adevarul distorsionat in adevar personal=interes personal, si cand dincolo de o virgula poate sa stea demnitatea unei persoane...si dincolo de un termen, salvarea?!
Cand nimic nu e uman, dar totul este relativ...e bine sa fii orb, orbit de ratiune...si sa indepartezi cauza conflictului. Dar cand nimic nu se intrevede...nu-ti ramane decat sa astepti.

* Glosa:
Rezolvam integrale fara sa stim sa adunam (respect).
Il criticam pe Sadoveanu fara sa stim sa citim (semne).
Folosim variabile fara sa stim sa declaram (adevarul).
Prezentam reproducerea fara sa stim sa perpetuam (afectiunea).
Ponegrim comunismul fara sa stim sa suferim (ierarhia).
Alergam fara sa stim...

E...

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GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA GATA !
E atata de gata...

Experienta autentica

Cu riscul de a ma exprima pleonastic...
Am mancat ecler...(aveti reteta aici) la 11 seara. Dar ce ecleeeer...cumparat de la cea mai buna cofetarie din Turda. Nu am prea multe experiente pozitive...cel putin nu recente...cu familia, cercul restrans - mommy, daddy, yours truly - dar in seara asta s-a reeditat o intamplare...reprezentativa, as spune eu. Din vremurile in care tata mergea in delegatii :)) mult de tot si prin tot felul de locuri si mereu imi aducea chestiuni foarte inspirate si-mi iluminau calea mea de copil.
In seara asta, cufundata fiind up to my eyebrows...in...knowledge :)) a revenit tata, dintr-o delegatie la turnu severin...nu stiu de ce. De ce acolo, nu de ce a revenit, dar asta e alta poveste. Si aud cuvintele magice..."ce-i acolo? v-am adus ceva..." that was my queue to get out of bed. Si stateam, asa cum stateam demult...tata mancand...ca si cum n-ar mai fi mancat de saptamani intregi...pentru ca nicio mancare nu atinge standardele de nutritie impuse de cea facuta de mama. Mama cu ochelari...si mancand totusi ca un copil prajitura...si spunandu-mi mie sa nu mananc mai mult decat imi trebuie (ca sa manance ea restul, desigur).
I despise such little depth in aspiration...Tot ce vor ei e sa ajunga seara intr-o bucata acasa de la serviciu...sa manance si sa doarma. I love them...

Oul...

Pentru ca nu e sfera. E usor cea mai imperfecta forma...cea mai vizibil imperfecta daca e sa ne raportam la ideea de perfectiune a sferei.

Daca iei un ou....cu destul curaj si destula precizie si il plasezi pe o suprafata plana, paralela cu solul, te rog, si ii dai un impuls de la presupusul sau ecuator pentru a-l angaja intr-o miscare de rotatie vei vedea ceva. Oul nu e simetric fata de planul ecuatorial. Are masa repartizata inegal. Si traiectoria pe care o descrie...e o elipsa...care se strange. Suprafata cuprinsa de descrierea miscari devine din ce in ce mai mica pana in momentul in care se reduce la un simplu punct, iar oul continua sa se roteasca, marcand in aer doua forme. Doua cercuri pe care le strabate cu fidelitate...fiecare generate de unul dintre cele doua "varfuri" ale oului.

Oul e facut din doua cercuri si o elipsa, deci.

Poti crea din miscare. Poti face oul din miscare, nu din materie. O traiectorie imprecisa dar suficient de sugestiva pentru a da nastere unei idei. Din miscare, nu din materie.

Poti face universul dintr-o elipsa, doua cercuri....si o idee.

Cadere [puncte, puncte]

Am simtit...
Am simtit pentru un moment atat de puternic...
Am simtit...
Am cazut...am cazut. Am cazut atat de mult si nu era nimic in jur...nimic de care sa ma prind nimic de atins nu era NIMIC. Strangeam plapuma....zgariam peretii....imi trageam parul incercand sa-l rup. Vroiam sa ma lovesc de pamant. NU ERA NIMIC
NU ESTE NIMIC
nu am lovit nimic. NU mai cad. nu mai pot. nu m-am oprit. Nu puteam sa zbier si imi zgariam propriile maini cu greutatea fiecarei incercari de respiratie intrerupta. CE s-a intamplat? CE mai e? CE mai poate sa fie? si DE CE?
nu mai este niciun scop. CUM sa te misti in locul asta plin de NIMIC? pe ce sa te sprijini? din ce pat sa te trezesti dimineata? si pe ce covor sa calci cand nu mai este niciun covor? DOAR forme care se indeparteaza. Care s-au sters. Care LE-AM sters.
NU e nimic-ul peste care am mai sarit. NU e NIMIC-ul pe care-l arunci pe fereastra pentru ca nu ESTE nicio FEREASTRA!
Totul s-a indepartat atat de tare incat nu mai EXISTA. nu mai poti sa te misti in aceasta LUME. E fara puncte.

e FARA puncte!

tyrant...

Why do some things hurt to the bottom of your stomach? And why is pain actually situated in the abdominal area? If you stop to think about it...so are the so-called butterflies... So do all strong emotions have gastric origin?
I tend to believe it's all in our heads...nothing lower than the brain can actually be linked to any sort of...activity...of the spiritual kind...ironically...no link to the "heart" as far as I'm concerned. And....i stop to think.....what happens? What makes it all....go away....and come back....and then go away again? Sometimes causing irreparable damage to the stomach, other times....passing through like a drink of water. And boy...does that ever make us thirsty...
No biological explanations for me, please...i'm just not up for it. I just wonder....do we have some kind of disk fragment? that does a periodical clean-up? and leaves...shadows? like memories....or scars on the gastric mucosa? sometimes they heal....but i guess it's only fair to get gasthritis every once in a while. Not cancer...as people get...very frequently these days. That isn't fair...and...i guess it's a matter of not getting it....rather than getting rid of it. Eating healthy....not getting involved...and all that.
Then again....you only get one stomach...and you'd better use it...otherwise you might starve and then what would be the use? So drink, smoke, eat junk...hope you'll get enough time to enjoy it all.
love, cry, scream...

God really has a sense of humor...

It's just one of those times when i know and feel stronger than ever that God does exist...or some other spiritual entity...under all the names that humankind has produced in order to retain some kind of memory or attestation of His existence. Faith, of course, is necessary in order to perceive what his influence really is in your life...and certain people dismiss this as being the work of your own mind. If you're expecting something to happen, then naturally something eventually will happen....and get interpreted as divine intervention...
But let's not talk about God as He is not really the focus of my attention right now...
Hasn't it ever happened to you...that important stuff came along when you really weren't expecting it? Sometimes i guess we lose focus...on certain things...be they work-related, relationship-related, family or health related, and then...something usually happens to bring your attention back. Nobody ever truly expects to develop cancer...lose a close relative...or on the other hand...find true love when you're trying to focus on some exams....or have great success at exams...due to the ending of a relationship. It's a lot of bla, bla i've presented here....but these mixed up feelings are what i'm getting right now.
I've just realised....that when i wanted something badly...i didn't get it. When i held on too strongly to one thing...i lost it. Whenever in the back of my head...i thought that something might happen....it never did. And then again...when i really didn't care anymore...i got the best results...when i didn't care too much...i did ok....and when i started caring just a little bit more...i screwed up.
That's the irony of it all...and....things should never be taken for granted....cos the guy up stairs has a strange sense of humor. The conclusion would be.....if i could somehow make one up out of the confusing stuff i've just exposed...that...how you perceive your goal...is crucial and will determine to what extent you will accomplish it. The way i see things may not apply to all people...some might always get what they want...i've gotten lucky a few times myself...
Although i've determined this...and realised that there are certain rules and ways to failure and success....i can't really change the way i feel about things...in order to always succeed. And what would be the fun in that anyway?